Saturday night home alone would be to spend it at school watching a Disney movie (alone).
I was thinking about maybe posting a review of the movie up here (this was my second time seeing it and felt I can judge it properly now), but then I figured, "meh there's plenty of reviews of the movie already, I'm just gonna review that horse!"
I mean seriously that thing was awesome! Was it a horse? Was it a dog? Was it a swordsman? I don't even know. The movie itself is good. In fact much better than I anticipated. I'm not saying it's one of my favorites like I've heard a lot of lately (I have my beef with certain aspects and could rant on them for hours but I will avoid such rant as there are a lot of people I know who really... REALLY liked this movie and I know I will feel their wrath later (did I spell wrath right? (wow parentheses within parentheses... This blog just got incepted!))).
Did I mention I went and saw this alone? In a sea of couples and groups of friends? I'm not trying to gain sympathy or anything. There was a few other people there like me, just chillin' out max and relaxin' all cool (by themselves). I pulled my chair up to one such fellow. I was all "Hey man! You here alone? Me too! Let's be friends!" No response. Not even a glance. (Making friends is tough)
My response (in my head): Fine man, be that way. I just figured this way we didn't BOTH have to look like losers. I'll just give you the stink eye the entire time you watch the movie. (which I did, thank you very much)
For real though Maximus the dog horse thing was great. Very cartoony and funny but still a bad@$$. I especially like the part where we find out he can teleport. *spoiler* near the end of the movie Max busts Flynn out of prison and Flynn's all "Max, let's see how fast you can go"... Five minutes later, totally makes it to Rapunzel's tower. The tower that took the entire film before (about a day and a half in movie time) to get away from and reach the city.
Original movie dialogue: "Max, let's see how fast you can go..." *bamf* " Oh **** you can teleport? that's freakin' awesome!"
Then again maybe it's the tower that was teleporting. Or maybe it's some sort of trans-dimensional subspace nexus that causes it to be five minutes away from everything. For instance: Evil mother chick agrees to make the 3 days journey to fetch Rapunzel shells for her birthday. She's gone for some time and Rapunzel and Flynn make their agreement to run off together, they go and spend all sorts of time outside. Crazy mother chick sees Maximus being all cool dog horse like and is all "the guards? oh snap I need to go check on Rapunzel!" 30 seconds later (5 minutes movie time) she's already back at the tower... (or maybe she was just taking her sweet old time and doing whatever crazy evil chicks do).
Dialogue from the original ending to the movie:
INT. CASTLE THRONE ROOM
KING and QUEEN standing around all mopey about their daughter
being kidnapped (some 18 years ago). A GUARD runs in.
GUARD
King! We found your daughter!
KING
No way! That’s awesome! Where was she?
GUARD
You know that tower that’s like
five minutes away from us?
KING
Yeah! You mean...
GUARD
Yup! She’s been there the whole time!
KING
Really? No way! This whole time I
never bothered to check there. Well
I just feel like a horse’s --
For real though it is a very good movie. Don't take this as me making fun of it or anything. I mean I am, but isn't that the best part? When we like something enough that we CAN make fun of it and still end up liking it?
My Rating of Maximus:

8/10 teleporting characters
My Rating of Dude Who Ignored Me:
1/1 Forever Alone

No comments:
Post a Comment